I'm no criminal, why they keep asking me about DBS?

I'm no criminal, why they keep asking me about DBS?

 

Hello all!

This is yet another "funny" question we usually get asked when we undergo on a journey. So you have started talking to this formidable person (your surrogate), everything matches! If you feel like she understands you and your partner, weeks / months pass by and you feel it's it's the right person for your journey and she feels the same way.. Until she drops the bomb "Can i please have your criminal reports?". For some, if you are new, you will probably laugh and think it's a joke, "right.. my criminal report.. good one".. Only then you realise she actually meant it, and it's good that she meant it! You got yourself a surrogate that actually knows how the process should go.

So what is DBS?

Wikipedia explain us... The Disclosure and Barring Service (DBS) is a non-departmental public body of the Home Office of the United Kingdom. The DBS enables organisations in the public, private and voluntary sectors to make safer recruitment decisions by identifying candidates who may be unsuitable for certain work, especially that involving children or vulnerable adults, and provides wider access to criminal record information through its disclosure service for England and Wales.

DBS was also known as CRB (Criminal Records Bureau).

Why is this important for the surrogate? I am such a nice guy...

This is important for you, for your surrogate, for your baby and everyone around this journey. How many time we heard "You can't judge a book by it's cover", it's actually true! People change, it's also true. DBS will tell the surrogate that you don't have a bad past, and taking this journey will feel safer for her and for your baby.

Intended parents should ALSO ask the surrogate for her DBS (you should / probably will be asked to pay for it) so you also know that the surrogate don't have a bad past and she will carry your baby safely.

I do have a DBS problem.. what now?

Stuff happens we all know.. People change too, or i like to believe so. If you have something in your report it will probably scare some people off, instead of trying to match with someone that DONT ASK for it, be honest about it. Tell your surrogate / intended parent about your past and how you feel. Let the surrogate / intended parents make their own opinion, take your time to know each other and to really make sure that occasion was a one time thing. Take a counselor if you need more help , or talk with your friends.. PARTICIPATE IN MEETUPS, bring your surrogate / intended parent into these meetups so other people can share their opinion about them. If you hide stuff of this nature it will probably just cause you more trouble, would put off the surrogate / intended parents and could cause you a big problem on Parental order too. Seek legal advice if your case is complicated.

How much will this cost me?

When you look at the web the first time and you start google you will see some websites offering this and the price range goes from £25 to £70. I've used this one: https://www.mygov.scot/basic-disclosure/apply-for-basic-disclosure/ It's from a scotland and you can apply online and receive the letter at home. It's convenient and not expensive! You can get this done for £25. The surrogate can ask for other type of DBS or more checks. To be honest i think this one suffices for the basic needs. But again this is the one i used, you don't have too.

If you have any other DBS link / service or any suggestion opinion please put it down below in the comments section.

That's it! Looking forward to my next post ;)

Luis